I'm always a backup plan or ppl call it "spare tyre" . I'm nvr the first . I'm not important . Second choice or maybe 100th choice ?
I always think that am i the extra one ? Ever since i born , i really dun tink what's so important about my existance . Not much difference w/o me i guess .
1997
I'm not the first baby in the family line . My brother was the first , so nothing's big for my birth ? Then a few months later , my cousin which is a boy came to the world . So my existance is like totally transparent as grandparents normally 重男轻女 . So all the focus was on him . Nobody dotes me ... I tink i'm like super extra ...
2007 (P4)
I started to lie and steal . Mama caned me , scolded me . Attracted her attention . Hmm , but because of this , she hold on me tighter . Freedom gone , being grounded and stuff . Limited frewns . Even when there's a bunch of guys are chasing me . She caned me . Caned wif the clothes hanger . I swear it's more painful than a cane ! I'm very sure that she's tinking i'm a slut or else why will there be a bunch of guys chasing me . So i'm a slut in her mind ... We have no trust btw us ~
2010 (Sec1)
First girl in my family who get into a NA stream . I noe it's embarrasing , but what can i do ? I'm not a person who can study . No point forcing right ? At least i didnt retain , i get 191 . I didnt fail . Dont expect too much from me ... Maybe because of this , you are more biased towards sister ? Sister is good in everything . Piano , guitar , drums , studies , sports , attitude , responsibility and even more sensible than me . I know . I failed as a daughter . Sorry . I just cant be good enuf . SORRY .
Currently
I feel that i'm like so extra , nobody cares bout me ? I really wonder if i disappear or lose my memory or stuff . What will happen , will anything change ? Or will it remains the same ? I really wonder ...
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